How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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