YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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