So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
