Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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