good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
