Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
