My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
