I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I am available for nakedness
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
