Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
