I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
