you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
