Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
