If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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