So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
