id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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