And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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