she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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