dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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