i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
