In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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