i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
