Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
