i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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