My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
