I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
