We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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