Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
