There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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