your thong is hanging out like whoa
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
