Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  are you still at the devil's house?

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  (248): are you still at the devil's house? http://tfl.nu/bw8z
  Replies (4) Good night (1634) Bad night (2058)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy

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  (740): Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy http://tfl.nu/qjnh
  Replies (11) Good night (1786) Bad night (600)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm home, then i'll come over

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa

  (514): View more from Quebec

  nvm.

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  (514): i'm home, then i'll come over (1-514): ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa (514): nvm. http://tfl.nu/kqkd
  Replies (40) Good night (1202) Bad night (3339)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!

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  (360): Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!! http://tfl.nu/gtc6
  Replies (10) Good night (4189) Bad night (1133)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.

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  (262): I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down. http://tfl.nu/o90m
  Replies (43) Good night (6394) Bad night (1139)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong

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  (912): I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong http://tfl.nu/xu91
  Replies (15) Good night (5554) Bad night (1222)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.

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  (417): As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits. http://tfl.nu/fap8
  Replies (17) Good night (999) Bad night (3069)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.

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  (401): the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex. http://tfl.nu/qat1
  Replies (18) Good night (5523) Bad night (993)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?

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  (641): is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now? http://tfl.nu/l9c5
  Replies (6) Good night (3586) Bad night (1616)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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  (904): After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay. http://tfl.nu/z22k
  Replies (4) Good night (2445) Bad night (919)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.

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  (918): Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want. http://tfl.nu/d7n8
  Replies (4) Good night (1616) Bad night (574)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

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  (706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3
  Replies (10) Good night (2230) Bad night (717)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.

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  (479): Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question. http://tfl.nu/6lny
  Replies (6) Good night (959) Bad night (491)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.

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  (405): There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation. http://tfl.nu/8ogi
  Replies (9) Good night (1125) Bad night (760)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions

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  (705): All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions http://tfl.nu/3r4z
  Replies (2) Good night (388) Bad night (223)

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