That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
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Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
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Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me