Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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(714): View more from California

I would go down on you faster than GM stock

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(404): View more from Georgia

Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.

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(913): View more from Kansas

He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes

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(936): View more from Texas

You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.

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(720): View more from Colorado

So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".

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(941): View more from Florida

Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.

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