rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
