i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
