I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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