We won't sleep together?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize