Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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