You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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