I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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