p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
