Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
