I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize