Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
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