The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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