He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
