Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
