i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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