Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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