if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
