I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
