it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i've created a new STD.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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