I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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