Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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