don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
