Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize