She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
