I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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