I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
