Plan B is the new Plan A
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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