I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
