I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
