Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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