'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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