you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
